Religious and goofy NBC page from the South who always has ideas for weird new TV shows. He claims his mother is his best friend and that he loves television.
“Do you know why I put up with this ‘pitiful job’, Mr. Donaghy, why I fetch these folks’ lunches and clean up their barfs? Cause they make television. And more then jazz, or musical theater, or morbid obesity, television is the true American artform”
“Oh, uh, no, sir. I don’t vote Republican or Democrat. Choosing is a sin, so I always just write in the Lord’s name!”
“Now you’re standing on the exact spot where Gracie Allen took Jack Paar’s virginity”
“I don’t drink coffee, sir, I don’t drink hot liquids of any kind. That’s the devil’s temperature”
“Well, as a child, I had a prize pig that I thought was my best friend. But then one day I picked up one of her piglets – she went crazy! She bit off my nut sack… that I kept tied around my belt to feed squirrels”
